I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Randomize
