I'm so fucking centered right now
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
worst night to have a conscience
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
