You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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