so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
