Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
