pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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