love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
