Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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