Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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