I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
