Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This toilet bowl is my home.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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