quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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