office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
