Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
