I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
