Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
