I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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