If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
