i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
