My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
