i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
