I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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