The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So. Much. Porn.
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