Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize