Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Sorry about my life...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize