I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
