Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
