Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
