it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
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woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
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I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I know her cup size but not her name....
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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