hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
