I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
