Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I have tasted many bathrooms
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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