every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize