Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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