hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
