he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Your dad touched me again.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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