i barfeds in our rink
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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