I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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