only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize