I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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