The brown eye won't let me do that either.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
