you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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