I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize