Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize