is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
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I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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