Someone shit on the floor
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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