i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
