remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
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