yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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