I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
