Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
