haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
