I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
