2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
