the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian