Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper