So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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