at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
