new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.