i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I touched a dick in church today
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
