How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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